Darkest before the dawn

“There comes a time when silence is betrayal.” Martin Luther King Jr.

I wasn’t around when women were not allowed to vote, but I was alive when indigenous Australians’ newly granted suffrage was reflected in our constitution. It’s hard for me to imagine what it would be like to experience such discrimination.

In a way I was lucky, because I have a Tasmanian Aboriginal ancestor and I was born during the time of the stolen generation, though I was too white and privileged to be at any risk so that never had any grip.

I remember the shock I felt when I lifted my head from my busy middle class white life to watch Nelson Mandela’s inauguration, and was hit by the realisation that he had just voted for the first time in his life in the election that made him president.

My first child was born during the finals of the 1995 World Cup, so I missed the enormity of South Africa’s win in their first inclusion in the tournament after a decades’ long ban opposing racism and apartheid. This story, portrayed in “Invictus”, is one of my now favourite movies.

I am happy to live in a world where people can have their own opinions, and can hold their political and religious ideas dear. Where they can live whatever doctrine they believe in as it applies to them in their own homes. These opinions could be like what color to paint your lounge room, or what you think constitutes art. They could even share their opinions with their black LGBTI neighbor over tea and scones while their children played happily together in the back yard with the Muslim children from over the back fence.

I don’t know though, how to live in a world where a law of the land can apply to one human being and not another? I can understand why we do not let our children vote, but how do I live in a world where, say, we let children with blue eyes vote and children with brown eyes not vote?

I don’t think there has ever been a time in history where one human being didn’t discriminate against another, and if we are waiting for this eventuation to create world peace, I think we will be silent for a long time. But there have been times in our history where great leaders allowed us to transcend our primitive human tribalism and see a world where there is space for us all.

This poem, Invictus, gave Nelson Mandela strength to stand when all he wanted to do was lie down. Twenty Seven years in prison for being black with an opinion can do that to a fellow. I love this poem and offer it so it may also inspire all oppressed Australians in our darkest hour.

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
William Ernest Henley

 

And from Winston Churchill

“The mood of Britain is wisely and rightly averse from every form of shallow or premature exultation. This is no time for boasts or glowing prophecies, but there is this—a year ago our position looked forlorn, and well nigh desperate, to all eyes but our own. Today we may say aloud before an awe-struck world, ‘We are still masters of our fate. We still are captain of our souls.’”
—House of Commons, 9 September 1941

 

The mood of Australia is pretty happy with shallow and premature exultation. So I dare to dream of a time for boasts and glowing prophesies where all humans are equal under the law. Who is with me on this? WHO IS WITH ME?

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Finally feeling hopeful about Mental Health Research

You might remember, about 5 years ago the National Institute of Mental Health in the U.S. finally said enough! This whole idea of clustering symptoms of mental ill health into diagnostic categories was a great idea, but it just hasn’t got us anywhere.

I remember my heart lifting and a cheer tried to escape but was quickly crushed by what I read next. They were now  going to focus on neural pathways. So instead say of studying PTSD, anxieties and phobias say, as separate entities, they were going to look at fear pathways, with modern laboratory techniques and neuroimaging, and I felt my heart sink. I think because what I read didn’t really sound like a change in paradigm, or how we think about human suffering, just a new thing to look at with old eyes.

Ive checked in now and then since then and have not felt my spirits lifted.

So, this morning, after a week of frustrating conversations with the old old paradigm I thought I’d check in again. Now this is not new, it’s a talk from 2013, and it may have been on the NIH website for some time, but it lifted my spirits. I think there’s still a bit of blindness from looking through the medical model, but in relation to my frustrations about psychotherapy research I think it’s fantastic.

I said to Rob, “you should listen to this” and he said “give me the short version!” So here goes.

In the old paradigm when we make a mental health diagnosis, we are making it with symptom clusters, and that’s like saying “You have a headache disorder, or stomachs ache disorder” without going any further, and then giving that diagnosis the same authority that we might give diabetes. And that really isn’t any more advanced than the ancient Greeks description of melancholia.

The major problem though, is that with all the modern techniques for neuroimaging, for structural and functional analyses of the brain, the findings don’t map on very well to the disorders. I’ve often thought it will turn out to be like diabetes, which was described early on in relation to excessive urination, but when we finally discover some biochemical cause, we have two distinct entities, diabetes mellitus, and diabetes insipidus, which are so dramatically different in their cause and physiology that had they been discovered biochemically  would never have been given the same name.

And that seems to be the problem. That DSM has given a whole lot of heterogeneous symptoms the same name, so no wonder we haven’t come up with a specific diagnostic test or specific treatment. From a paper titled “The drug hunters” the report is that “On average, a marketed psychiatric drug is efficacious in approximately half of the patients who take it.” He presumes that those are the people who have the thing wrong that the drug treats.. (a bit of a stretch but an interesting idea)

(At this point I want to caution myself about this seductive pull to turn the mysterious unfathonableness of the human condition into a simple machine, but for the sake of the short version I will press on.)

So RDoC,  stands for Research Domain Criteria. The statement in RDoC’s strategic plan states, “Develop for research purposes new ways of classifying mental disorders based on dimensions of observable behavior and neurobiological measures.”

There are four components.

The first component Is to identify these fundamental components that may span multiple disorders. So they look at circuits in the brain. Circuits responsible for dealing with threat, looking for food, memory, that kind of thing, and you start to see how lots of these circuits will be at play in different ways in different people who might all say fall under the current umbrella of depression.

The second component is “To determine the full range of variation from normal to abnormal.” This is very cool I think, because they are starting to see all symptoms on the spectrum of normal, and that there has been some adaptive behavior say that has taken a normal behavior to extreme. Watch the video for some useful observations about Schizophrenia and Bipolar. I think clinicians have long seen symptoms on a spectrum of normal, but for researchers to finally get this is a huge step forward I think.

The third component is to integrate genetic, neurobiological, behavioral, environmental, and experiential components, so that the complexity of the human experience is not lost in the science. And they are not just giving lip service to that complexity the way the “biopsychosocial model” did.

And the fourth component is to develop some measure, which might just start with what can be measured and seeing what that lines up with. They seem to be starting from a position of not knowing, and being willing to discover, even if it’s at odds to what they think they know.

The other heartening thing is that they are looking at neurodevelopment. Acknowledging that things that happen to the developing human have an impact at many levels, and understanding more about that impact can inform what to do about it, both with treatment and prevention. They are also looking at the impact of environment, both positive and negative.

So that’s the short version, and I recommend the long version….

 

Loved

How would you describe the experience of being loved? A newborn thrives in its presence. You can see it on their faces. The well loved child. It’s hard to describe. Perhaps a sort of contentment. The faint smile of satiety.  Nothing missing. And in its embrace the experience of being allowed to just be who you are.

Judgements are suspended. Both good and bad. If you are distinguishing beauty, charm or whit, you are not there.

The space where negations delivered under the guise of love are felt for what they are, not heard for what they might be, and are not allowed in.

And in that space, awareness expands. Synergy is created.

Is this the space where healing happens?

Can it be that simple? As simple as….

As you wish…..

 

 

Psychological theories: Too much to bare.

Jay Haley once supervised a therapist who said that the family she was having trouble working with had a mother and daughter who were symbiotically attached to one another. Haley, famously said “I’d never let that be the problem.” (Brief Therapy: Myths, Methods and Metaphors. Zeig and Gilligan)

Pickpockets on a Nudist Colony: The Systemic Revolution in Psychotherapy, a book by Ben Furman and Tapani Ahola sums up beautifully what psychotherapy does. You have to sew a pocket on a nude before you can pick it.

Bill O’Hanlon once said that there is a place in a modern therapist’s room for a couch. Any time they get a theory about their patient they should lie down and wait for it to pass. (In one of his 30 plus books)

Most therapists would know those three tidbits, and we all chortle, genuinely, and yet there we go again, when we find a client difficult, we attribute some theory of maladaption that is impossible to surmount.

It’s sometimes a challenge to remember that all psychological theories are made up. None of them are true or real. They are also made up by human beings. A brain writing a theory about the brain…. there has to be something intrinsically dodgy about that.

As soon as you say that someone has a maladaptive attachment, has trauma stuck in their body, has a disordered personality or disordered thoughts, you are in trouble. You have constructed a problem that has the potential to be difficult to solve. You have also added something that wasn’t there. You have sewn a pocket on.

One of my heroes, Heinz von Foerster describes the way we do this kind of thing as an attempt to turn the amazing unfathomableness of human beings into a trivial machine. Trivial meaning if you input A you can predict output B.

A more universal example is the way schools attempt to turn children into trivial machines. Questions, it is understood, have answers that are already decided, and a good grade on the resultant test is proof of successful trivialisation.

He was the kind of fellow who could get seriously excited by the child who, when asked what is two times three answers green.

Something that hit me hard when reading his work and had a big impact on the way I raised my children was his notion of illegitimate questions. These are questions that when you are asking, you already know the answer to. They generate a yucky experience in the asker and the asked. We all remember that feeling from school that goes with a prayer that it will not be you that will be the chosen one…. even when you know the answer the teacher is thinking of.

I think that working therapeutically with a human being from a position or psychological theory will inevitably be an attempt to turn this person into a trivial machine. I suspect that a good grade from the therapist about the client will be evidence of trivialisation, but a good grade from the client about the therapist will reflect the respect the therapist had for the non-triviality of the client.

I used to think that the questions we ask reveal the client, disclosing who they are and what they care about. Then I realised it is not important for the therapist to see what the questions reveal, but for the client to discover. Now I wonder if the discourse is just a distraction for the thinking mind as the healing happens in the space between two people.

How else can diametrically opposed dogmas result in equal effectiveness?

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What I learned about healing trauma at the Cat’s Home.

Do you ever get sick of ideas and thinking and just want to hang out in experiences and doing?

I’ve been immersed in a rich tapestry of experiences fostering cats for a local animal shelter. I had become interested in the power of communities to heal, particularly in relation to the small group of people who don’t do well with psychotherapy. At the cats home I found a community healing orphaned, damaged, abandoned cats and kittens and there were so many parallels with my work and what I was exploring that I got immersed, while also enjoying some kitten company.

I recall a conversation with Rob on Christmas Eve when I had a homeless mother cat and her kittens upstairs in our bathroom but downstairs I had a one hour session with a homeless teenager and then she left through the front door into the big harsh world.

I reflected on her life in foster care and beyond, and the parallels between the cats home and the human system wondering why one seemed to work well and the other didn’t. Bad behavior in the cats was more likely to be understood as the result of cruelty or neglect and not some intrinsic badness.

The confronting difference was that antisocial cats were euthanaised…. but not always. There are definitely a handful of people braving the teeth and claws and having success at rebuilding trust in antisocial cats.

The feline family moved on and were adopted and we ended up with a motley crew of 6 teenagers who had ringworm and were thrown together by circumstance. Now ringworm, which is just a glorified form of tinea has some serious prejudices and baggage attached in the cat world, and cats are commonly euthanaised in shelters to prevent the spread of this highly contagious fungus. Take a moment to imagine if children were euthanaised for having ringworm. The parallel in therapy for this mob was probably in the Axis 2 realm. Not many people wanted to touch them.

This mob became a tight knit group, united by the trauma of twice weekly antifungal baths. Two of them must have grown up with a dog and taught the others that dogs are fun. The leader of the group, a big black panther named Sambucca was a beautiful goofy loving felllow but when he was cured and went back to the Cat’s Home he suddenly behaved as if he hated cats. He was relegated to a single cage in the boarding section and we went in to bat for his good character. In the end it was his love of dogs that got him adopted by a German Shepherd who had recently lost his pet cat.

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I wondered how many clients I see in the nasty bitter stage, and how different it would be if I got to glimpse before and after to see what is possible.

The next foster was Snowflake, a 2 1/2 week old innocent who apart from being abandoned for a day and a half had known no trauma. Food, warmth and a tender touch and she was putty in our hands.

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Then, as she grew and started to play she was missing the learning that comes from siblings about not playing too roughly. So after we put the word out, Louis arrived.

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Now Louis had a very different beginning. He was found abandoned in a barn at the age of 4 weeks, but it was clear his innocence had been rocked. The story was that he liked other cats and played hard, but if a human approached he froze, flattened himself to the ground and became paralyzed. My guess is that something had toyed with him. Maybe a dog that chased if he ran, taunted harder if he moved, so he had leaned to play possum.

The first night my son spent holding him and when I walked in to check he said “I don’t know what you are saying about this kitten being scared, he is just sitting here in my arms snuggled up.” I took a closer look. He wasn’t happy, he was paralyzed. So we upped the gentleness and reassurance. I remember the day about a week later when I walked into the kitten room and he ran away! Yay, progress. The progression was then from running, to starting to run and then slowing down. Then starting to run and changing direction to approach. Then catching himself before he ran. Then approaching. And then that magical day when I walked into the room and he immediately started to purr.

Now I didn’t do any therapy. All we did was provide a safe and loving environment… and he worked it out for himself. And that, for me, is the most powerful distillation of the rich tapestry of this whole experience that also aligns with what we know about therapy.

 

Why Barefoot Therapists?

Barefoot Doctors began in China nearly a century ago, to address the inequity between health care in urban and rural regions. Farmers were taught basic health care and first aid in an attempt to close this gap.

Barefoot Therapists are tackling a different gap.

The medicalisation of human suffering began after the Second World War, when soldiers were returning with shell shock into a community that had no experience or understanding of what they had been through.  Psychiatry and Psychology were called to arms, and complex political and socioeconomic forces shaped the emergence of what we know as modern Mental Health Care. We saw from the 1960’s, both the explosion of both therapeutic and pharmaceutical approaches to treating human suffering, and yet, as neatly summed up  by the title of a book: “We’ve had 100 years of psychotherapy and the world is getting worse” and pharmaceuticals have likewise not delivered on their promise.

In the wake of this bubble bursting, scientific inquiry has uncovered two interesting phenomenon. The first is that both psychological and pharmacological interventions carry with them an unusually large dose of the power of placebo. The second is a term called allegiance. The therapist/doctor’s belief that their treatment will work contributes enormously to the effective therapy, be it pill or therapy model.

Simply put, if the patient believes in the treatment they are getting, they will get better, and if the therapist believes in the treatment they are delivering,  then they will be effective, and the patient will get better.

So what is the gap?

Could it be that the medicalisation of human suffering, as described by “mental illness” has made it hard to believe?

Consider our cultural attitude to a cancer patient who doesn’t respond to treatment. Not you personally, but what our culture thinks. You see it in the headlines of newspapers. Family and community fight for their chance to try experimental new treatments. If only we had better treatment, we could cure this disease. The general message is that medicine should do better. There is no patient blaming.

Now consider our cultural attitude to a person with a mental illness who does not respond to treatment. Not you personally, but what our culture thinks. You see it in the headlines of newspapers. How often is crime and mental illness linked, to give just one example.

When our first instinct is to blame the patient if they do not respond or  are non compliant with treatment, then we have a cultural compassion gap.

In the last 70 years or so, people who are suffering have been diagnosed and sent for professional help. Inadvertently, the art of emotional healing that has historically lived in the community since the beginning of time is being lost.

No one meant for this to happen. Doctors, Pschologists and Mental Health practitioners are now faced with treating very isolated patients, who they know would benefit from community connection, but none is available.

Add to that, the fear of anyone who is different that is being fostered in our global community, and we have created a cultural inequity.

The Barefoot Therapy Project, aims to return the dying art of emotional healing, back to the community.

Barefoot Therapists Resolving Grief

My husband told me that when one of his boys was just 6y.o, they were walking hand in hand along a beach and the boy looked up at the father and said: “Dad, what would I ever do if you died?” Rob looked down and warmly and simply said: “Well, you’d be sad for a while, and then you would just get on with things.”

When I heard this story my own children were young, and I was touched by the simplicity, trust and beautiful lack of emotional tangle, and so I determined that if my children ever asked this question, I would say just that.

Some years later when my own son was maybe 12, we pulled up in the car in front of our house, and he said; “Mum, what would you ever do if I died?” The sirens that blew in my head from his nut allergy and previous brushes with death, as well as the realisation that he had asked this question backwards, were quelled by the mood of Rob’s story, and I found myself saying: “Well, I’d be sad for a while, and then I would get on with things.”

I turned to the back of the car and was met with his great grin, and then he said; “Bitch” and we both laughed out loud.

I told this story to a young, single mother who was having cancer treatment, and her biggest concern was for her small child if she were to die. Some years later I saw this woman, who was now cured, for something unrelated. She reminded me of the story and said that some time after, she knew things would be fine, because she was at a relatives house and her child was in the next room playing with their new puppy. The child piped up and said; “Hey, Mum! If you die I think I’ll live here because I love this puppy.”

Loss can be painful, but I have never met someone who has not lost something smaller in their past and got through it. A child grieving after the death of a parent, can be easily engaged by asking:

“I know it’s not the same, but have you ever lost someone or something you loved in the past? A grandparent? A beloved pet? Or had a friend move away, or change school? How did you get through it? What was the first thing you did? How did it go from so painful you couldn’t stand it, to just really sad? When you think about it now and just feel peacefully sad, how did you do that?”

“Most children use distraction at first, or they may even pretend that it hasn’t happened, that she just went down the street to the shops. This serves to protect them while the hurt is too painful. It works like an anaesthetic on an open wound. They do this until the wound is bearable. Until some healing has occurred.

Just like a broken leg, if you put a plaster on, it will heal. You don’t always need to pay attention. And like all wounds, it is best not to pick at it. Then, as families talk, and rituals happen, and stories are shared, the healing process can settle in. Paying attention to what helps, for this individual, and staying away from things that make the pain worse, as with all wounds, healing is promoted.

A Barefoot Therapist who knows this, and trusts this, will be a welcome comfort to a grieving soul.

Emotions and the Barefoot Therapist

If you look at a small baby in their natural habitat, they breathe, they eat, they sleep, they pee and poop, they cry and smile and laugh and get spooked. They get frustrated, they show delight and contentment. Pretty much like any mammal, as I am reminded daily by our foster kittens.

How have we managed to pathologise all these things that bodies know how to do? As a culture there are so many obsessions about food and diets, about gut health and enemas and high colonics. People read self help books and start thinking they are not breathing correctly, and don’t get me started on sleep!

But emotions! Surely emotions are just part of the rich tapestry of human experience. Milton Erickson said, when you learn the letters of the alphabet, you need to learn all of the letters, not just the ones you like, and not just the ones you are good at, because it’s all of the letters that make up an adults literacy. And when you learn the emotions, you have to learn all of them, not just the ones you like, not just the ones you are good at, because it’s all of the emotions that make up an adults emotional world.

So many people get worried about the intensity of their anger, their sadness or their fear. Yet no one ever comes to a therapist worrried about the intensity of their happiness, delight or contentment… though it may bug others!

Erickson also said that when you feel something, you should feel it thoroughly, all the way to the tips of your fingers and all the way to the tips of your toes and let it go. Yet so often we get caught trying to stop an emotion. Trying not to have it. We get caught in a kind of emotional stutter.

When I was a kid I remember a day trip we took to a beach where the waves seemed enormous and yet there were people having a ball body surfing. Now this was Bellerive beach in Hobart, Tasmania, so the waves can’t have been very big, but to my young eyes they were enormous. Eventually I couldn’t contain my wanting to experience the body surfing I was watching, so I ventured out with a bit of an idea about what to do from my time sitting and observing.

The  first wave dumped me and I thought I was going to drown. It was like someone had thrown me in a washing machine and there was no way out. So I fought and struggled and was washed up, breathless on the shore. Sitting in the shallows, I still couldn’t get over the enjoyment on the faces of the body surfers, so I ventured out again. Small hints of successes and further dumplings, and slowly I realized that I always got washed up in the shallows. The next time a wave dumped me I decided to relax into it, and sure enough I was washed up in the shallows, but this time I was less out of breath.

I think emotions are like the waves at Bellerieve beach. If you’re not used to them, they will look like the waves in Hawaii, or Chile, but if you look, there will actually be a lot of people enjoying them. Just look at the queues at the movies for films like The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas, or The endless B grade horror movies. Look at the films that won Acadmy awards or People’s Choice at Cannes. People don’t like bland. They like to be touched and moved and stirred and scared.

Barefoot Therapists know this about people.

 

Barefoot Therapists healing trauma

“All wounds heal…. if we allow them” Theresa Robles

If we look for culturally accepted examples of healing from frightening or painful experiences, a pretty universal one is childbirth. Ask a woman how she got over her experience if it was other than sublime and there are some common themes. The first time she tells the story it is still pretty intense, and she relives the emotions….. but then life is busy, possibly filled with other children, commitments, time frames…. in other words, distractions.

The next time she tells the story, from her distractedness, she is less in it, and the emotions are less intense. This continues with each new visitor, until she is a bit over it, so that by six weeks post-partum she thinks having another baby is a really good idea!

Everyone has some small trauma in their past that they successfully got over. A frightening crash off their tricycle. Getting picked up late after school. A family argument that was upsetting. Asking what helped these upsets to heal gives a blueprint, however small, that can serve as a guide to traverse a current, more overwhelming emotional trauma.

“Running a country, is just like cooking a small fish” Lao Tsu

Keeping it simple, and using many past experiences, reminds a person that all wounds can and do heal.

With thanks to Theresa Robles for opening my eyes to this universal wisdom.

Barefoot Therapist Beginning

When you ask someone about something that they like to do, you are not simply making small talk. This area of a person’s life is a vast storehouse of skills and resources, and abilities, even in the face of problems.

To begin with you are taking a person who has come to you in a defeated space, with a problem they cannot surmount, and transporting them into an area of their life that works. In doing this you shift their mood from resignation to possibility, and their sense of incompetence to a lived experience of competence and confidence. Like the alchemist, you turn lead into gold.

The second thing you discover as you explore more, is something about the person in front of you. What makes them tick. What they care about. What is important to them, and perhaps even something that they are passionate about. You get a glimpse of their soul.

Once you have thoroughly explored with them you will see an engaged and interested person in front of you. You have generated a relationship by your sincere interest in this thing that they like,  and you can then move on to ask them the next pearl:

“Tell me about something that went pear shaped in what you like to do. Some problem that happened that you got through, and is now, no longer a problem” and then ask “how did you do that?” Then, hey presto and abracadabra, a blue print appears in front of you both. The blue print for how this person gets through difficulties.

But wait, there’s more! You can then ask how they learned to do this thing they like to do. How they went from ‘I can’t do this’ to ‘I can do this’ and this magically reveals another blueprint. A ‘how this person learns’ blueprint.

Give it a go and see what you discover. Ask:

What do you like to do?

What is it about that, that you like?

Notice the parts that seem really important to this person and mention them.

Now ask about something that went pear shaped but that they got through and is no longer a problem.

Try to articulate what you hear is their process or blueprint.

Now ask them, when they very first learned this thing, how did they do it? How did they go from ‘I can’t do this’ to ‘I can do this’?

Notice how these blueprints can be applied to getting over any problem, or to learning anything new.